I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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