$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
