You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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