At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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