morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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