dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
