I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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