oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
