her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
