I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
