We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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