69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
