One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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