dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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