Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
