dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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