Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
