is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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