my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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