I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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