Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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