You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
