Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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