I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
