PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
