All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
