We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
