I want to have your abortion
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
