no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
