Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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