false alarm. still invincible.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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