You're my little dorito
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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