it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize