People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
