Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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