Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
