please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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