dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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