Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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