She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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