Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
