I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
