we have pet lesbian snakes
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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