if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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