Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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