They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
