I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my being single is dangerous.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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