It's Friday. Sex?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
