he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
