Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
