ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
