Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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