The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
