Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
