I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize