I cockslap morals
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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