I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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