i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
