Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
