You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
