I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This house was built for laser tag.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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