note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then he tried to convert me to islam
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize