I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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