it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
