Do you still have your period?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
