i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize