he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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